Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
