New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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