Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize