You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
