I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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