ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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