what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
