Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
should my penis look like a turkey
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
