You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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