That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
