This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
