At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
