Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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