She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
