i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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