Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You were trust falling into bushes
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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