You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
