i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
