everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
two words: eviction party
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This is the high leading the old right now
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
