I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
one two three fourrrrnication!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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