my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
