lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
