my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize