Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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