Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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