I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my being single is dangerous.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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