idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
