I have demons in me.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
