lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
