What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
