I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
