i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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