I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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