Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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