Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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