I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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