i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
