Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
