Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
