Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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