Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
