Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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