i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
