Kiss
Puke
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
