i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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