He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
