I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How naked do you want me to be?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
