i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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