So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
