ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
