I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
