You're completely useless in the revolution.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
