just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
