He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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