are you so shy because you have an std?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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