whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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