Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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