make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
