Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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