He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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