Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
