There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
