I'm drive I can fine osifer
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
